Quotes from my old home page

So my old home page used to have a page with a bunch of really nice quotes on it and I would hate to see them all get lost now that I don't have a good place for them so I figured I would just post them here. So here goes.

The difference between theory and practice, is that in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice.
- Richard Moore

The 3 great virtues of a programmer:
Laziness, Impatience, and Hubris.
- Larry Wall

The best definition of a gentleman is a man who can play the accordion -- but doesn't.
- Tom Crichton

Your mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.
- Matthias Elter

I might disagree with what you have to say, but I'll defend your right to say it to the death.
- Voltaire

Software is like sex, it is better when it is free.
- Linus Torvalds

People who think they know everything tend to irritate those of us who do.
- Oscar Wilde

Think about how stupid the average person is.
Then realize that half of them are more stupid than that.
- George Carlin

My taste is simple, the best.
- Oscar Wilde

Great minds discuss ideas,
Average minds discuss events,
Small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive anyway.
- Elbert Hubbard

Light travels faster than sound.
That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Allbert Einstein

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember.
- Oscar Levant

God bless the American legal system
A glorious machine that turns stupidity into cold hard cash!
- The Drew Carey Show

Working weeks come to its end, party time is here again.
- Come with me, Depeche Mode

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
- Where the streets have no name, U2

Got a letter from the government the other day.
Opened it and read it. It said they were suckers.
- Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos, Public Enemy

It's a small world and it smells funny
I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money
- Vision Thing, Sisters of Mercy

I'm a 21:st century digital boy
I don't know how to live, but I got a lot of toys
- 21:st century digital boy, Bad Religion

When will the world listen to reason?
When will the truth come into season?
I have a feeling it will be a long time.
- It'll be a long time, Offspring

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives.
I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.
- Strange de Jim

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I'm a firm believer in the concept of a ruling class,
especially since I rule.
- The movie "Clerks"

If there's no light at the end of the tunnel, get down there and light the darn thing yourself!
- Lauri Watts

Unix is the most user friendly system I know, the point is the it is really selective about who is indeed its friend.
- Luigi Genoni

It's the mature and adult thing to do!
How does that affect me?
- Seinfeldt

Dates are for having fun and people should use them to get to know each other.
Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynette, age 8

CNNESPNABCBCVTNT, but mostly BS
- Television, Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprasy

What did you do yesterday?
I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it would be.
- The movie "Officespace"

I drink to make other people interesting.
- George Jean Nathan

When everybody is out to get you, paranoid just seems like a good idea.
- Woody Allen

How to relate to women:
Treat them like compilers that take simple statements and turn them into big productions.
- Userfriendly

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.
- Frank Zappa

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing,
but none of them serious.
- Boxer Alan Minter

Plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
- Dwight Eisenhower

Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent.
- R. D. Laing

I'm on a seafood diet.
When I see food I eat it.
- The Drew Carey Show

I'm bi-sexual. Whenever I want sex I have to buy it.
- The movie "Splitting Heirs"

What do you think of western civilization?
I think it would be a good idea.
- Muhatma Gandhi

If you don't know where you are going you are never lost.
- Unknown

If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
- Unknown

Acceptance testing: An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.
- Unknown

Jag spenderade mina pengar på sprit, kvinnor och sång.
Resten slösade jag bort.
(Roughly: I spent my money on women, drinking and singing.
The rest I squandered).
- Unknown Swede

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
- Samuel Butler

Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.
- Unknown